Caught up in the December Hurries

I'll try not to be negative in general when I journal in here. It's hard to read (and re-read) posts from the harried mom, I know. But sometimes, that's just all that's on one's mind!

I'll refrain from saying that "I hate December," since I do get caught up in the spirit of things. It's an OK time. The kids get SOOO excited when it's time to trim the tree and decorate the house. Ethan practically did it himself the other day- Ric just brought down the boxes from the attic and he went to town. I came home that evening and almost everything was up! Of course I had a royal mess to deal with (which remained for about 3 days, by the way). Anyway, that part is fun and enjoyable. And I like to think about buying presents for my family, when I have good ideas. But OH MY GOSH! is December exhausting! And I'm not even there yet - it's only November 30!

It's not just the immediate family, it's the extended family, the company, the giving trees, the donations to others, the gift-giving to friends, getting presents out to the post office on time. Having to shove all these extra tasks into an already full life is just daunting. I can empathize with John Grisham's character in "Skipping Christmas."

Mostly I'd like to ski on the weekends, put a red bow on the door and call it Christmas. The other stuff I could totally live without. I'm suffocating in it. I'm reading this book right now, "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Great book. Mostly I'm jealous that she spent 4 months in India meditating. Literally. Up at 4 am, meditate, do work around the Ashram, meditate some more, and then go to bed. How rested she must feel! I guess it's just times like these, when I feel most busy that I most wish I could escape the normal life and get away and relax for a week. Not even vacation, really, but go somewhere where there's nothing to do.

But then, of course, I'd miss the kids terribly and long for home.

Thankful for Road Trip Thoughts

When my kids were little I was most concerned with the questions they might ask when they grew up. Sex, drugs, parties, what did I do when I was their age. Turns out those are probably not the hardest questions one can get from one's kids.

Try: "How does a tree grow?" or "How do cars and things move when no one is pushing them?" or even "If we're losing our skin all the time, there must be skin all over the place!"
And, "Are all condos as fun as ours?"

These all came from our middle son, Alex just tonight during our car ride to Keystone. His older brother, Ethan and younger sister, Evelyn were asleep in the car, having succumbed to the after-affects of Thanksgiving dinner and fun rough-housing at their cousins' Shelley and Tyler's house (and my cousin Candi). So Alex had the undivided attention of mom and dad. No siblings to interrrupt, to answer the questions for him, to talk over him as is often the case when there's more than just one of them in the room/car. This was like hitting the lottery for little Alex. He stayed awake and peppered question after question, each more thoughtful and farther "out of the box" than the last.

After Ric had to explain the inner workings of the internal combustion engine, Alex asked, "Mom, How are the ways that people die?" Ric started answering that there are lots of ways that people die, sometimes from old age, their heart just stops working..." and his sentence comes to a close, after which Alex asks, "tell me more ways."

It may seem a little morbid to many, some of these questions he asks, but he is just so fascinated with all the ways in which people work, function, move around, and other ways that the world works. His little brain is so creative at times like this when it's quiet and he's the only one thinking and asking.

One morning about 6 months ago, out of the blue Alex asked, "Does your brain roll around when you move your head from side to side?" I laughed my ass off. And these are the things that Alex thinks about, or at least the ones he puts into words. I really wonder about all the queries in his head that don't get spoken, or when there's not mom or dad right there at the right moment to answer for him, so their not voiced. I don't think he asks these odd things to other adults.

The thing that really gets me about them is that they're such GOOD questions! We forget how much comes naturally to us as adults, all the things we already understand that are so confusing to kiddos. Only when they speak their thoughts in these rare, quiet moments can we really understand how much growing their brains are doing.

Ric explained that some people die in the water and it's called "drowning." Alex said, "but not in the ocean because it doesn't have a drain." It took us a little bit to figure out what he was getting to, but basically he revealed that he thought "drowning" only happened where there was a "drain" present, like in a bathtub or in a pool. Like..."draining" if you will.

Nights like this are what are so sweet about raising kids. When the hustle and bustle of the day has waned and it's quiet like it hasn't been quiet in days and they're not fighting or competing for attention or being loud just for the sake of being loud. And there's a moment to really enjoy each other with a quiet and thoughtful conversation together. Like the night stops for just a moment for you to appreciate one of your kids for just who they are, plain and simple, with all their smart, thoughtful, wise questions.

Sometimes it takes a little road trip like tonight's to get us to stop "doing" and just be with each other. This is what I'm thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Happy Inauguration

And so I bow to the social pressures of having a blog.

I'm just a mom, I have the kids, I go back and forth to school, I take pictures sometimes; and here I feel the need to document all the comings and goings of our ordinary life. Lest my kids grow up and ask where their family blog is? "All my friends' moms have blogs from the day they were in the womb- how come we don't have a family blog??" Lest I be accused of child neglect, I best just write the blog to document the ordinary life.

As it is, I'm probably way late in the game as usual. Ethan is already 71/2; I should have already filled about 8 photo scrapbook albums documenting his existence, but I haven't. I'll probably hear about that later too.

Am I sounding bitter? Annoyed? Put out? Maybe a little. Sometimes I feel worn down enough by the drudgeries of life that having "one more thing" on my (ordinary) motherly plate is a chore.

But I'm also sad at how fast the little kiddos grow up and how fast the time is gone. If I can take a few minutes every once and a while to put it down, those comings and goings, maybe I can stop time for a little while so that I might go back and visit. So that the kids can go back and visit.

I figure worst is that I'll give it a whirl and if I can't keep up, well then, that's what our memories are for, right? I can't say I never tried. Maybe it'll work out after all. Maybe I'll get into this weblog thing. Maybe.