Daddy Visits

Yesterday I was talking with my mother-in-law giving the update about how Ric is doing in Tampa (no, he doesn't call his own mother) and how we all are since he left, yada, yada, yada. And I mentioned that he'll be visiting twice in February.

Visiting. My husband. The father of my lovely children, who we adore, admire, and cherish. And he'll be ... visiting.

Certainly his presence is felt nearly constantly. The boys want to send him an email, check their email to see if there's a message from Daddy, we call daily (sometimes twice) to just check in and talk- especially Evelyn, she always has to talk. What we just did that we can call Daddy about, how excited Daddy will be over this or that (when) we talk to him later.

It's just not the same as being there. Friends and family, I think, mostly feel sorry for ME. "How do you do it?" "I could never do it." "That must be so hard!" "HOW are you DOING?"
It goes on and on, the pity party for me, having to be without my other half and take care of the kids on my own. But truely, there should be no pity for me. I am fine. I am WITH those whom I most love, I see them every day, get them ready for school, pick up, hang out and talk about the day over a snack, help with homework, tuck in for naps, read them books, listen to them read, give baths, help with jammies, kiss good-night. My days are much the same as they always were- full of love and warmth and contentment and I am so thankful for that.

But Dad...he's without those he loves most. The pity party ought to be for him. I think most of us believe that the strong dads can muster through, no tears even though they're far from their loved ones. But I know he (and all dads like this) is lonely. How quiet it must be to come home after work without fighting, whining, crying, talking, falling, playing, laughing, doors opening and closing as friends run in and out. How quiet. How sad. I think the pity should be ladled on our dads who go forth alone, carrying pictures and checking emails and phone calls.

"How does HE do it?" is the better question.