Throw Me a Lifeline Here!

I have a confession to make:
My kids are bad.

They are rude, mean, thoughtless little thugs to each other and it is driving me crazy.

They whine, they cry, they hit, they hit with books, they take, they yell, and they don't share, say 'sorry', apologize, or speak kindly to each other. And I have to live with them. It has to stop.

I'm at a loss. I lecture, I model, I speak kindly, I act kindly, I speak softly, I (literally) almost never yell or raise my voice. I ALWAYS say 'please' and 'thank you' and 'excuse me.' I help them problem solve so that *next time* they'll do better. They don't. They just don't. Good behavior is completely escaping them.

I decided that homeschooling mothers whose kids watch NO TV and NEVER get to play on the computer probably have pretty sweet kiddos. It's probably all of the QUALITY time they spend and the forced CREATIVITY. So guess what? Starting today, no TV, no time on the computer untill I start seeing some serious NICENESS going on around here. (But the key is that if niceness results from no screens, I think I'll have to stick with no screens.) And more CHORES. They're probably not busy enough.

I'm hoping that with all that spare time for their brains to expand, they'll stop harassing each other. How is it that these kids can be so sweet in school - to the teachers, to their classmates, and to each other they are hateful and inconsiderate?

How is a mother supposed to instill LOVE to her children for each other? Or not even love, I'll settle for civility! Answer me that!