Start of School, Little Girl

My little girl. So ready for school! She started Kindergarten today, not even looking back. She wanted to ride the bus, pack her lunch, pick out her clothes, and carry the heavy backpack laden with school supplies.


I told her I'd come pick her up at lunch to she could come home with me and keep me company. She gave me the stiff-arm. This little one was super-excited to join her brothers and was not looking back on the lazy days she spent with me last year and all the years before.

I look around and wonder where my babies went??! They were all right here just a minute ago and now they're gone! All big kids, all independent, all healthily detaching. My hip feels suddenly bare where they once all sat like monkeys all day every day. My legs surprisingly unbound where they used to crawl up and hang on to be picked up. There are no more child-proof anythings here in my house. No piles of diapers, baby wipes, no potty chairs. Gone are the baby swing, booster seats, sippy cups and bibs. All that remains is one lone stool in the bathroom so the littlest can reach to wash her face at night. There are practically no remnants of their babyhood. It seemed we were all in the thick of it and then, it was gone.

The house is quiet, the car is quiet, the hours stretch out long before they'll come home. But then they'll come off the bus, talking a mile a minute, walking home with the details of the day, rushing into the house needing a snack, a drink, help with homework, "read this book to me Mommy," "can I help you cook, Mommy?" And I will savor this time that they are really still little, but growing fast. Eager, curious, questioning, loving, hurting, still sometimes struggling.

You are all still little. You will always be my little ones, even when you're big.